That Damn Negativity

gratitude mindset plan your pivot Jun 09, 2022

That Damn Negativity!
Learn how to use it to bulletproof your business.

Even after 19 years in real estate I still wake up some mornings and have a mini panic attack, “What if the market collapses, again?” Then I have to tell my brain to shut up, everything is going to be fine. I have a nice practice with years of referral business and a marketing plan that has worked for decades. But it seems that PTSD from the great recession will just never go away. It’s not always just the market, sometimes it’s a specific listing that should have sold already, an inspection that is happening tomorrow, a loan that is supposed to be approved, or a coaching client who’s struggling with the program, or …., or …., it’s just that damn negativity again. I come from a long line of worriers. I remember my Grandpa and Dad both being worriers. The “what ifs” would take control of their thinking and it was difficult to get out of that mode.

I used to really struggle with this until I realized that emotional intelligence was not only vital for my happiness and health, but it was vital for my business as well. Recognizing where you are emotionally and making necessary changes is the key. My daughter, Sierra, studied the brain, emotions, and how positive thought actually changed people for the better. Not only mentally, but physically as well. It’s not just a bunch of bullshit, as my Dad would have said, it actually works. Everyone has these thoughts and fears and it’s actually a good thing that we do, it acts as a defense mechanism for us. Could you imagine going through life with absolutely no worry? Hell, I would be broke in a matter of days! “Buy lots of Crypto! Don’t worry about a negative cash flow, buy that house on the beach anyway! Why not buy two? Go ahead, take 6 months off without marketing, or doing anything in your business, just go fishing, it will all work out!” OMG!

So how do we deal with that damn negativity? Recognize why it’s there and offset it with logic and positive thoughts. Before I get out of bed every morning, I think about what day it is, what’s on my agenda, and what positive things are going to happen. I push back those negative thoughts and offset them with positive thoughts. Once I get ready for work, I do the same thing, “This is going to be a good day! I’m going to get an offer on Jones Street, the inspections on 1st Street are going to go well, and I’m going to get a listing call today!” So where does the logic come in? That’s the important part, of course not everything positive that I say is going to happen. I may not get that offer, the inspection may have come back with a bad sewer line that needs $10k in repairs, and of course, I don’t get a listing call every day. But all of the negative things that pop into my mind won’t happen either. Logically, since I have years of experience and systems set up that have worked consistently for years, I have a much better chance of the good happening than the bad. I also believe that starting the day with those positive thoughts and bringing myself to a positive mindset, will actually tip the odds in favor of the positive, rather than the negative. I don’t want to try it, but I bet if I kept all of the negative thoughts in my head all day, A LOT of them would come true.

Another way to start off the day is with gratitude. I also learned this from Sierra,( how did I get such smart kids?), she does it every day. She is grateful for all that she has; an incredibly smart, handsome, and funny Dad, her great husband, her fur baby Arnold, her business, her house, and sometimes she even drills down to being grateful for things like her new plants growing in the yard. I’ll admit that I’m not as good at doing this as she is, but the days that I do, I see how it grounds me. A topic for another blog is a saying that I coined “Remember when you dreamed of having what you have now?” It’s an exercise in gratitude and it will bring you back to the basics, what is really important to you.

So, the next time those panicky, fearful, thoughts come into your head, recognize them as a defense mechanism. They are there to help you prepare, plan, and implement changes to prevent bad things from happening. When they pop into your head, jot down or send yourself a note, to review that specific aspect of your business that is worrying you. Look for weaknesses, wastefulness, time eaters, and inefficiencies. You probably already knew what they were, the negative thoughts were just a way for your brain to get your butt moving to make the changes needed. Use them as a positive to reinforce your current business and plan for possible changes. Have a plan B and a plan C for various scenarios. Once you have your business bulletproofed, relax, refresh, and be grateful. Don’t forget to start your day with that positive mindset, offset the negativity with the knowledge that you are ready for anything!

Thank you for your interest,

The contents of this post are for informational purposes only. The author is not a mental health professional. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your mental health.

Brad Staplin is a Real Estate Broker, Business-Life Coach, and a Certified Professional Coach. His coaching philosophy is to "Live Life Unbalanced!" The scales of life should always be tilted on the side of  you, your family, and your friends. The freedom living life unbalanced will attract “more than enough” business to live the life you dreamed of when you started your business. For more information visit or you can email Brad directly at [email protected].

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